Addiction, Suffering, and Compassion

If you have been reading along so far, it should be pretty clear that we live in a very addicted country (world?). I looked up "Types of Addictions" online and up popped a website, listing them A - Z!(1)  Seriously.  Besides things I have discussed in previous blogs, like television, alcohol, and sugar, and the obvious villains, the 'bad drugs' like heroin, cocaine, crack,  and PCP, and tobacco, there are SO many other things to which we can be addicted: food, shopping, shop-lifting, sex, gambling, gaming, porn, plastic surgery, exercise, risky behavior, and on and on and on...

Addictions and the Brain

Before we go farther down this road, let's take another look at brain chemistry.  In the last post I was talking about the dopamine-reward brain circuitry.  This circuit developed to guide evolving humans towards natural rewards like food, sex, and bonding.  In today's world, however, "extreme versions of natural rewards have a unique ability to capture us." (2)   When we are exposed to high calorie foods, or the constant novelty of endless numbers of beautiful, potential 'mates' having sex on a screen, or anything on the above list, each occurrence gives us an extra dopamine hit to the brain, too much of which can override our natural satiation mechanism.  In addition, there is a protein which Wilson (see reference 2) describes as a molecular switch, called Delta Fos B, which is released when dopamine surges.  This protein accumulates in the brain's reward circuit over time, and causes cravings for more... of whatever 'it' is.  This cycle - excessive consumption and dopamine surges, followed by accumulation of Delta Fos B, followed by cravings for more - ends with structural changes to the addict's brain: it numbs their pleasure response, it gives them a hyper-reactivity to whatever they're addicted to, and it erodes their willpower. (2) 

Why?  What do ALL of these 'things' have in common?  Some of them are behaviors, and some are substances.  Some people can use these substances and/or participate in these behaviors without getting addicted - but many cannot.  For example, there are an estimated 2 out of 3 Americans who are overweight (this statistic is shock to me, btw), and about half of them are obese.(3)   So the rate of becoming 'addicted' to food seems pretty high.  On the other hand, hard drugs like cocaine, crack and heroin only hook about 10% of people who try them.  So the things in and of themselves are not necessarily the cause of the addiction. What is going on that makes some people more likely to become addicted?

What Causes Addiction? 

Dr. Gabor Maté has an excellent You Tube video out entitled "What is Addiction?" (4)  that answers precisely this question, in my opinion, anyway.  His view is that all addictions are attempts to soothe the pain of life, to get away from distress.  Interestingly, according to Maté, the brain does not distinguish between physical pain and emotional pain.  When a person suffers from an emotional rejection, it lights up or activates the same part of the brain as if they had been stabbed with a knife.  

In his work with severe addicts, Dr. Maté begins not by asking "Why the addiction," but instead, "Why the pain?"  And in this work, with thousands of addicts, this question is always, every single time, answered by emotional loss or trauma experienced as a child.  In his video, Maté quotes Keith Richards, guitarist (and famous heroin addict) from the Rolling Stones, who says, "All the contortions we go thorough (are) just not to be ourselves for a few hours."  So why would anyone not want to be themselves?  Because of the pain.  Because it hurts.  Because anything is better than having to face THAT...

Or is it?  Sadly, trying to get away from the pain, to escape or avoid it, just causes more pain.  The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying says "Whatever you do, don't try and escape from your pain, but be with it."  My medicine tradition is big on teaching about surrendering to 'what is' in the moment, believing that by surrendering (as opposed to fighting against), we can move through the pain.  Easy to say - and NOT so easy to do, especially when we feel our pain is going to overwhelm us.  I can remember years ago worrying that if I started crying I would NEVER be able to stop.  I would just shut it down if tears came up, get angry, push it away, and then reach for that next cigarette, next shot, etc...

We are also not taught how to do this - how to be with our pain, with ourselves.  Our parents didn't know how, or if they did, it was minimal.  Nor did their parents before them.  So each new generation gets to hold the unresolved pain of the last one, plus the layers passed down from our lineage, as well as our own stuff layered on top, with no tools with which to cope.  We are not taught emotional intelligence as kids in school, and are in fact more likely to be further traumatized by bullies, gossip, cliques, and negative stereotyping.  My peers mostly taught me about rejection, and to be more mistrustful of others and protective of myself.  I can't speak for every religious tradition, but speaking personally, I was not taught how to be with myself and my pain in my Methodist church groups or though sermons.   We live in a culture, as already written about in this blog, that is about instant relief, ' a pill for every ill.'   We live in a culture that prizes distraction, surface beauty, and external symbols of success.  As Dr. Maté says, "...we live in a culture that is based on, both economically and psychologically, on not supporting people to be with themselves."    Thus, we live in a culture of addicts.

Scientists are still looking for the reasons why some people become addicted and some don't. 

How Can People Be With Themselves (with their Pain)? 

Buddhists believe that the way to start to end suffering (dukkha) is to first admit to oneself that suffering is unavoidable and is a natural part of life. (5)  Christians believe (in part) that the way to end suffering is to turn over ones troubles to God, letting the burdens go, then praying and remembering to be thankful for all of it.  

Compassion

 

Dr. Maté says that people CAN learn to be with their pain, but only if there is an 'other' present, from whom they can sense some compassion.   He says, "So addicted people need a compassionate presence which will permit them to experience their pain without having to run away from it." 

Compassion means "to suffer together." (6)  It basically let's the sufferer know that they are not alone.

I like this treatment of the issue: 

(7)

Benefits of Suffering

A good friend once commented on suffering (and I am paraphrasing here), "Suffering is like water flowing through a canyon: the more water that flows, the deeper the canyon is gauged into the rocks; the deeper the suffering, the more it gauges out your heart, making more room for you to be filled with empathy, compassion, joy, happiness, faith, hope, and gratitude."  Most spiritual traditions agree that suffering has many benefits, including teaching us greater humility, expanding our natural capacity for wisdom, increasing our creativity and resourcefulness, providing us with greater compassion, and (in our best moments) helping others who are struggling by our example. (8)

A Way Out

If you or someone you know is addicted, consider using a mindfulness technique to focus on the present moment, and not on regrets from the past or worries about the future.  "Where we put our focus on is what our mind grabs onto," says Dr. Paul Gilbert. (5)  If we are always focusing on the problems in our lives, we will feel worse and worse.  If we instead can focus what is true in this moment ("I am safe," "I have a warm home," I have food to eat," etc), and even better, on what we are grateful for in the moment, our minds will start working like that - towards the positive.   One very simple and helpful mindfulness practice: noting thoughts that come through as 'past,' 'present,' or 'future,' whenever you think of it during your waking hours.  This can help to connect our conscious mind to our unconscious mental habit of living in the past or the future.  I also highly recommend The Presence Process by Michael Brown as a mindfulness primer and as a way to get in touch with and release stored negative emotions.(9)

Finally, remember that none of us - and yet paradoxically, all of us - are alone.  We all feel alone with our pain, but we are not.  There are people who can understand how it feels, who can listen, who can empathize without criticism or judgment.  And this small grace can help us, can shine a tiny ray of light into the darkness of our pain.  Sometimes that's all it takes.  If you are addicted and want help, or you're suffering and are not sure how to cope, please reach out to your neighborhood community, to your religious circle, to your co-workers; go to the library and look for support circles, for meditation classes, for a way to connect with others.  If you are not addicted or suffering, reach out and find someone who needs a supportive, compassionate presence in their life.  Become a mentor, a hospice worker, a meals-on-wheels driver... there are many opportunities to give back to the world when we are in a place of fullness.  And this just in: listen to a great spiritual teacher speak on the subject of compassionate listening. (10)

This tradition of which I am part is one such supportive community.  And this medicine path, although not for everyone, is one way to learn how to be more present with all of it.   May all sentient beings find and share compassion in this lifetime!


(1) http://www.addictionz.com/types-of-addictions/
(2) Wilson, Gary. "The Great Porn Experiment."   TED Talk,  TEDxGLASCOW.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
(3) "Overweight and Obesity Statistics." NIH.  http://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/Pages/overweight-obesity-statistics.aspx
(4) Mate, Gabor, PhD.  "What is Addiction?"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5sOh4gKPIg
(5) http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/bs-s03.htm
(6) Scharff, Constance, PhD.  "Cultivating Compassion in Addiction Recovery."  Psychology Today, 9/9/13.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/ending-addiction-good/201309/cultivating-compassion-in-addiction-recovery
(7) http://www.robot-hugs.com/comics/2013-05-20-Nest.png
(8) "Benefits of Pain and Suffering."  http://www.whypain.org/benefits_of_pain.html
(9) http://www.namastepublishing.com/products/book/presence-process-revised-edition/9781897238462
(10) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyUxYflkhzo

"But You Can't Give Them Drugs...!" - Part Three

I have to admit, I have gotten a little bit off track for this book in the last few posts.  Understandably so.  The death of Etolie was intense.  Started  a cleanse this past Monday that has been kicking my ass, and it has been hard to be super left-brained, as a result.  But now I feel an even greater need to get this information out into the world.

With this blog I have been working to connect the status quo, the standard Western approach to life, with the subjects of enthogens, and psychological and physical health. The other night I was explaining this project to a friend and said something like "The tendency in our culture is to try to escape and avoid discomfort and pain - at all costs - instead of investigating and opening to it to see what it might have to teach us."  The escape and avoidance are aided in part by culturally acceptable addictions: to alcohol, to screen time, and to sugar, just to name a few.  I want to turn the focus now to the topic of sugar consumption in the US and how it fits into this discussion.

The Age of Sugar?
When I was a kid, growing up in the late 60's and 70's, we would eat Captain Crunch cereals for breakfast, which contain a hefty amount of added sugar (9 grams, for a 3/4 cup serving).  My mom would mix whole milk with non-fat dehydrated milk, half and half, and then add sugar, to save money (and add taste); and we also had a bowl of white sugar on the table, which we added to the cereal at will, by the teaspoon-ful.  I am sure the (Wonder)bread we ate for lunch had sugar in it, not to mention the twinkies and cool-aid, and probably even the mayonnaise; and then for dinner we would have meat, starch, frozen veggies, and, without fail, a sweet dessert.  My mom, bless her heart, was just following the societal norms of the day!  She did her best to feed us well, according to accepted thoughts on the matter.  We never went hungry, and everything we ate was made or prepared with love.  We were also raised up consciously, with limited television time, and constant encouragement to go play outside.  In my neighborhood, the gang of kids who lived there rode bikes, went frog-catching and swimming, played in tree forts, played kick-ball, went sledding, built forts, etc.  In other words, we were active.  We got our fair share of cavities, but all things considered, we were OK.  We were - very luckily - healthy kids.

Americans = Sugar Addicts
Not all kids today have it so good.  Add to the 'normal' sugary diet easier access to unhealthy foods, staying indoors for large amounts of sedentary screen-time, and taking prescription medications from a young age (among other factors), and the equation will equal with over one-third of US kids now being classified as overweight.(1)  But, obliviously, we Americans love our sugar.  The average American eats 130 - 152 pounds of added sugar each year, mostly hidden in processed foods and store-bought drinks.(2,3)  One site reports that the average American consumes 53 gallons of soft drinks a year!(3)  And since these are averages, it means many people drink/eat a lot more than that.  

High fructose corn syrup (HFCS) started being added to the modern diet in 1970.  It is given that name to distinguish it from regular corn syrup, which is primarily glucose-based.  Some reports state that the average American consumes over 63 pounds of high fructose corn syrup per year. (4)  As one article stated, "In a sense, sugar (HFCS) is the number one food additive.  It turns up in the most unlikely places, such as pizza, bread, hot dogs, boxed mixed rice, soup, crackers, spaghetti sauce, lunch meat, canned vegetables, fruit drinks, flavored yogurt, ketchup, salad dressing, mayonnaise, and some peanut butter." (5)  So we are inundated with this product, and many are eating it with every meal - yet it is SO new in the scheme of human existence (45 years compared to hundreds of thousands of years!) - I think it is just another example of human hubris on the one hand, coupled with human greed on the other.  We are conducting an ongoing, wide-scale experiment on our species with no knowledge of how it will turn out, all for the sake of making cheaper products (ie making a bigger profit).
    
The Cost - Sugar Causes Disease
Refined sugar consumption has been linked to many diseases:  type two diabetes, obesity, hypoglycemia, hypertension, depression, nervous tension, skin irritation, irritability, violent behavior, and acne.(3)  It also can lead to tooth decay, obviously.  There is something now called "Metabolic Syndrome,' linked to excessive sugar consumption, which "is a cluster of conditions — increased blood pressure, a high blood sugar level, excess body fat around the waist and abnormal cholesterol levels — that occur together, increasing your risk of heart disease, stroke and diabetes." (6)  Of course, if you look at the rates of obesity in this country, and heart disease, and type two diabetes, you will see a direct correlation between them and the rise of sugar consumption.  Still, websites such as the 'sweetsuprise.com' will argue that there is no correlation between sugar consumption and obesity, just as there is no real difference between eating something containing HFCS and something made with honey.(7)   And that makes me say... really?  I can't even go there with all the ways that that is wrong.  I will just post a few statistics here for the reader to draw their own conclusions:

• 1 can of soda a day = 150 extra calories x 365days/year/ 3500 cal/lb = 15.6 pounds/year! (4)
• 40 grams of sugar a day = 10 teaspoons = the amount in an average 12 ounce soft drink (5) 
• Calorie increase in American diet from 2076 per day in 1970 to 2534 in 2010, an increase of 458 calories. (7)
• HCFS, in particular, does not affect the brain with a satiety response (this is true of all fructose, but when eaten in fruit, for example, the fiber present tells our bodies we are full).  In other words, after consuming fructose you do not know that you are full or even that you have eaten anything.  Meaning, a person can have a 64 ounce soda and still be hungry! *

Sugar is a Drug
Many doctors and researchers say that sugar is more addictive than cocaine, tobacco, or even heroin. (2, 3)   How it effects us is it hooks into the rewards (dopamine) system of our brains.  Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that causes euphoria, or extreme pleasure.  Think about a time when you got an 'instant high,' when you won an improbable poker hand, or the boy (or girl) kissed you for the first time - this is dopamine at work.  When a person eats sugar, it can trigger the release of this neurotransmitter, especially when the behavior follows a pattern of abstinence followed by binging .  In the study sited in this article, animals who were exposed to eating high levels of sugar and then deprived of it developed symptoms of withdrawal, such as "...anxiety, chattering teeth and tremors."  Further inquiry showed that just the taste of sugar released opioids in the brain, and that the combination of these and the dopamine reward circuitry led to dependency. (8)

Dopamine pathways in the brain are supposed to lead the organism towards a greater chance for survival, which is why we get dopamine released when we eat.  But sugar actually floods the brain with more dopamine than we would get from eating an egg or an avocado - it is what researchers call a "superstimulus."   The affected brain pathways then become 'hijacked' by this stimulus (sugary foods), because it is way stronger that anything we have evolutionarily been designed to handle.(9)

Even worse, both addictive drugs and sugar affect a particular area of the brain, the nucleus accumbens, which is part of the brain that shows up in addiction research.(9)  Both drugs and sugar flood the brain with dopamine and lead to cravings when the substance isn't present.  And what the brain is craving is not nutrition, which can lead to satiety.  It is craving 'reward,' the same thing addicts crave.  Tolerance is also part of this cycle, and develops with sugar use as well as with other addictive drugs: you need more and more to feel the same reward.  This is can in part explain the phenomena of binge eating.  Finally, junk food is unhealthy.  Everyone knows it - and yet people still eat junk foods, too much of them, despite knowing better, despite knowing they are probably causing them harm.  This is similar to the smoker knowing that cigarettes will be her death, but smoking anyway: the addiction is stronger that common sense and the instinct for self-preservation.  Many people feel like they can't control their addiction to junk food.  They try to cut back, have irresistible cravings, obsess about it, then binge; then feel bad, set another quit date, try to regulate the behavior, then fail again... and on it goes.  This is exactly what I did when trying to quit smoking - and drinking - and using other substances.  It is the cycle of addiction.  Just add in your drug of choice - including sugar.

All this is written in the hopes of pointing out the ridiculousness of the 'War on Drugs,' all the government's attempts to try to save us from ourselves, to regulate what each one decides to use or abuse... it is a lie.  I am hoping with these points to prove that almost anything we humans use can become a 'drug.'  Some of these drugs in our culture are sanctioned, while others, like entheogens,  are not.  I want to point out the absurdity of the fear of and legal sanctions against some of these substances when sugar abuse harms considerably more people in one year than all of the entheogens' have in their combined history.  One report said a conservative estimate would be 15 million deaths worldwide from sugar-related causes each year. (10) Another said 180,000 worldwide deaths each year just from drinking sugary drinks.(11)  Comparatively, in the US, we also have 430,700 deaths a year from tobacco use; 110,640 deaths from alcohol; 30,575 yearly suicides; and 82,724 people a year dying from complications from taking their prescription medications (12).  However:

"An exhaustive search of the literature finds no deaths induced by sacred entheogens such as Salvia Divinorum and the US Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN) records no instances of drug mentioned in medical examiners' reports. Sacred Entheogens or Salvia divinorum alone has not been shown to cause an overdose, death, nor have there been any hospital visits by anyone who has ingested them." (13)

One other source said there were a total of 8 deaths related to marijuana, in all recorded history (and it is not verifiable that marijuana actually was the cause of these death), and one death related to an LSD overdose. (12)  As in, like, ever. 

Just sayin...



(1) http://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/obesity/facts.htm
(2) Hyman, Mark.  "Sweet Poison - how sugar, not cocaine, is one of the most addictive and dangerous substances."  Daily News, 2/10/14.  http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/white-poison-danger-sugar-beat-article-1.1605232
(3) Walton, Alice.  "How Much Sugar are Americans Eating?" ForbesWoman, 8/30/12.  http://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2012/08/30/how-much-sugar-are-americans-eating-infographic/
(4) Lustig, Dr. Robert.  Sugar: The Bitter Truth.  UCSF's Osher Center for Integrative Medicine.http://wellnessmama.com/15/harmful-effects-of-sugars/
(5) Profiling Food Consumption in America.http://www.usda.gov/factbook/chapter2.pdf
(6) http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/metabolic-syndrome/basics/definition/con-20027243
(7) http://sweetsurprise.com/2013/07/18/blog/The-History-of-High-Fructose-Corn-Syrup
(8) A Real Sugar High? https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200301/real-sugar-high
(9) http://authoritynutrition.com/10-similarities-between-junk-foods-and-drugs/
(10) http://www.olsonnd.com/what-kills-more-people-sugar-or-cigarettes/
(11) http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/19/health/sugary-drinks-deaths/
(12) http://entheology.com/features/annual-causes-of-death-in-america/
(13) http://www.entheology.org/edoto/anmviewer.asp?a=3
* (sorry lost the reference for this factoid.  Will edit when I find it).

Substances, Sweat Lodges and Eldering

Working my way back into feeling capable of writing something that makes sense...

For the past two nights I have been in sweat lodges to pray for the passing of the young man, who I will call Etoile, mentioned in the last post.  My daughter and her boyfriend asked me, on Saturday night, to pour water (the term used for leading a sweat lodge) for Etoile's friends on Sunday night. Many people were involved in preparing the site, which was right down the road on my friend's permaculture farm.  My partner came over to help with fire (he is by far the best fire-tender I have even known, and when he is there at a lodge with me it really makes a difference) and a few people started arriving as we lit the fire at 6:30 PM.  By 8 PM or so we had about 23 people there, most of them youth (which I define as between ages 18-25).  Many had never been in a lodge before.  One of the older people there, who is very close to these youth, mentioned to me that some of them had been drinking alcohol during the day, and that she thought it was better to do the lodge even so than to try to wait until they could get themselves sober.  I also saw more than a few light up spliffs before the lodge. 

Now, in my tradition and training, we do not mix substances with the sweat lodge.  It is called a purification lodge for a reason!  However since this was a special circumstance, and was really needed to help with this situation, and since many of the kids there aren't on this path of doing lodges anyway, I decided to keep quiet about these things and let them do as they would.

However, I felt called to speak up in the lodge about the issue of substance use - and abuse - which I know played a part in the death of Etoile.  I asked for each one present to look inside and ask themselves questions about their habits, to bring consciousness and awareness to their actions and choices, to remember to ask "Why am I doing this?"  instead of just blindly doing something because it's what they normally do, or because other people are doing it, or because it is familiar, or even because they know it makes their emotions easier to manage (in the short term, anyway).  I asked them to consider examining their behaviors around substances, to see if there might be something underneath the surface that might be helped by clear-headed attention.  I acknowledged that they might not want to look at these things.  I let them know that the sweat lodge ceremony would continue to work on them for the next 4 days, the effects of which might be very subtle, so encouraging them to stay really tuned in to see what those teachings and insights might be.  I encouraged them to take some sober time to grieve for their friend. And then we moved on with the lodge.

We ended the ceremony, and while most of the people got out of the lodge, several stayed inside.  As water-pourer, I was needed inside to hold the space for these ones - so when I finally came out half an hour later or so, it was to see 10 or 12 people sitting around what was left of the lodge fire, passing several bowls of ganja around.  I was unprepared for this, to say the least.  I started thinking so many thoughts: What it is that drives people to smoke pot all day and all night?  What do they get out of it?  What do they miss if anything - by being high all the time?  What insights or healing from the lodge might they have had if I would have been able to stop the smoking before it began?  What was my responsibility in this situation?  Is there a way to communicate about or advocate for clarity of consciousness without sounding like a stodgy old person?  I can say that if the ceremony had been held at my home, I would have made it clear from the outset that pot smoking was not acceptable behavior around the sweat lodge.  I would have suggested to people to be as clear-headed as possible before coming there, and would have recommended (at the very least) that all participants take the night off from substances afterward.  But this didn't happen, and so what was, was. 

Of course, overall, the lodge was very beautiful, and I trust that no matter what else, good things came out of it.   I pray to God that it was helpful to everyone, and that everyone who came there received something good.  I think many people were able to release some of their emotions around Etoile's death in the safety of the container.  There were many good teachings from the people who spoke and shared their medicine.  Some good connections were made, as well.

And still... I am left wondering how to connect with young people around these issue of drug use and abuse, self-medication, balance, healthy living skills, and healing.  I understand, having been an addict of one form or another my whole life, the overwhelming desperation which can make a person want to numb out.  For many years a major focus of my life was getting as wasted as I could, as often as I could.  I could NOT handle how I felt when I was sober!  I came to realize over time that drinking, especially, added to my general depression and roller-coaster emotions - yet I only stopped drinking alcohol entirely two short years ago, and that after years of attempting (and failing) to quit.  In addition, when I was a youth I did not have any adults in my life that I looked up to - I felt completely separated from them, misunderstood, judged, and condemned, due to the choices I was making that were not in alignment with the current societal paradigm in which I lived.  So I also understand the idea of generation gap and how young people today may not know that I am sitting here with an open heart , an open mind, and a LOT of experience, praying for a way to connect.

A good friend and I have been talking lately about the need for true elders in our lives and in the lives of our youth, and what it means to BE a true elder, and how the lack of true elders is one of the roots of our dysfunction as a society.  Looking around, it is easy to see that while everyone gets older, some people age into a state of grace and wisdom and find their way to be of service to their fellow man, and others just get older and not necessarily wiser.  My friend suggested to me that some - maybe even most - adults in our world today are actually just wounded youth themselves, who never really grew up because they were never initiated, never mentored, and never taught how to do more than survive.  This resonates with me. 

I looked up eldering online, as I have the tendency to do these days.  According to the Eldership Project, an elder has certain qualities and is also in certain roles.  Some of the qualities of an elder include: generosity, freedom, courage, self-validation, joy of living, curiosity, awareness, calmness, hope, empathy, compassion, morality, listening,  respect, healing, alchemy, grace... and more. (1)  (Note: I recommend going to this reference as each one of these qualities is well-defined there, plus a few others.).  In the Bible they also describe what makes an elder.  The number one characteristic is "An elder must be above reproach," which to me means he or she has impeccable integrity.  There are many more qualities in the list, such as "he must love what is good,"and "he must be free of the love of money." (See (2) for a full discussion of the Biblical list.)   So, in looking at these lists, even briefly, it is clear that there are authentic elders out there, and that overall, to BE an authentic elder means the person is extraordinary.  Nelson Mandela and Grandmother Agnes Baker-Pilgrim come to mind, just off the top of my head.  I am sure there are many other authentic elders, who are not famous or well known, except to those whose lives they touch.  And then we have most people, who age and get old but who obviously are not on par with nor would ever be considered extraordinary human beings, and who do not qualify as elders in terms of these lists.   For some obvious examples, look around at the leaders of this country!  As another friend of mine cheerfully says, "I'm not hatin',  I'm just sayin'..." 

In my second sweat held last night for Etoile's father, the water-pourer talked about how as he has gotten older, he has come to realize that it doesn't work to just live life for himself anymore.  He has realized that his life IS being of service to the world.  I would say this quality goes on my list of what it means to be an elder.   I also see the quality of authentic and complete forgiveness as one of the essential ones.  I am working on making a more thorough list and will post it next time.

The second part of being an elder is to be in an elder role: mentoring, passing on knowledge and wisdom, guiding the rites of passage of others, advocating for or helping people to reconcile their differences, and modeling being an elder. (3)  Rites of passage is another subject I intend on studying in this research, mostly for the benefit of my second book.  In the meantime, the question of\connecting youth and elders remains: how do we empower youth to 1) investigate, and perhaps discover, their need for elders, 2) be aware of and informed about the qualities of true elders, 3) use discernment in finding appropriate elders, and 4) receive the support they need from their elders.  More on this later.


(1) The Eldership Project: http://www.eldership.com.au/about/qualities
(2) Qualities of Elders in the New Testement: http://epreacher.org/sermons/b-elders04.pdf
(3) The Eldership Project: http://www.eldership.com.au/about/roles

Resources and more...

I have been doing a bit more research into groups that already exist in this field, and am excited to share news of a group formed by graduate students from the California Institute of Integral Studies named ERIE, which stands for Entheogenic Research, Integration and Education.  Their goal is to help educate people honestly about entheogens, to counter the taboos and myths surrounding these 'spiritual amplifiers' (as they call them) with real information about their potential benefits and their potential harm, and to aid people in the integration of their experiences with these substances.  From their web site:

     "Entheogen, literally meaning "to generate the divine within," implies a spiritual or ecstatic
     experience and a connection to creative source: a direct connection to consciousness. Entheogenic
     experiences give support for the fundamental right of each individual for cognitive liberty," which
     is defined as "...the right of each individual to think independently and autonomously, to use the
     full spectrum of their mind, and to engage in multiple modes of thought."(1)

For some reason I am very inspired today to look up and read about the resurgence of research in this area...

And yet I find I don't have a lot to write about.  I discovered that there are many websites devoted to documenting psychedelic books, entheogenic plant dictionaries, and lists of researchers and publications; I found my way to the New York college that has been conducting addiction therapy using psilocybin mushrooms; I discovered a list of centers that do similar work with iboga therapy; and I looked into continuing education in psychedelic or entheogenic studies.  It was all very interesting... I spent all day reading and taking notes...

...and then I found out that a young man I know, 20 years old, shot himself in the head on this very day.  I found out within hours of him doing it, dropping in unexpectedly to visit my daughter at "the Compound" a local homestead where normally somewhere between 20 and 25 people live, most of whom were friends with this young man.  I arrived to find my daughter, her boyfriend (one of this guy's best friends), and everyone else in shock.  Suddenly everything I have been studying and writing about seems so pointless. "Who cares if people watch 5 hours of TV a day, or if the government has mislabeled these medicines, or how many psychoactive plants there are?  A young man just killed himself!"

He did it in part because he was really drunk, and burned out, as he'd been partying for days with alcohol and cocaine.  He was confused, and it was also really hot today, a record-breaking 106 degrees.  Maybe he did it because it was too hot!  According to his friends he was always saying he was going to end himself.  No one ever thought he would really do it!  Maybe he did it because he had a gun, or he did it because he was in pain and was tired of being in pain. Who knows!  Maybe he did it because his mom died when he was young - or because his older brother committed suicide a few years ago.  Maybe he did it to remind all of us who are left how precious this life really is.   

I am very sad for his family; for his father, for his sister, and for all the friends he had left behind.  It is truly a lot harder for the ones who are left to pick up the pieces.  My prayers are with them all today and for the days to come. 

I wonder if this young man could have been 'saved' if he had chosen to pursue healing with plant medicines instead of his approach, which was to get fucked up and party all the time as a way to escape.  We will never know the answer to that.  I just pray that his spirit finds peace.

(1)http://www.erievision.org/definitions/